Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eater

Today is January 11^th and I have been on this crazy diet since the 2^nd; VLCD since the 4^th. Today I am -13 pounds. I almost cried when I stepped on the scale and went to get Melissa to confirm my weight.

I think this diet is really about teaching yourself to be anorexic. Skinny girls everywhere are celebrating the suffering of a fat girl. I use the scale as a weapon to combat hunger. When I am really craving something other than 100 grams of low-fat meat or a cup of vegetables, I step on the scale to remind myself I’m still pounds away from my goal weight and making amazing progress. Most of all, it’s only 28 days… you can do anything for 28 days, right?

This weekend was truly a test of my endurance. It was drill and after we promoted our new 1sg, we, as leaders, went to Perkins to eat breakfast and run soldier by soldier discussing issues, flags, and concerns. There were pancakes, omelets, and bacon galore. It was a non-diet heaven. I pushed around my 2 egg white omelet and cup of baked tomatoes that I am sure had a moderate amount of our waitresses spit in it as my ordering went like this:

“Can you bring me an apple sliced up?”

“No Ma’am, we don’t actually have apples.”

“Ok can you bring me a side of any steamed vegetables, with no butter on them.”

“Um Ma’am, our vegetables come pre packaged, already buttered.”

“Ok, go on to the next one and I’ll find something on here I can eat on this dang diet.”

I tipped her like a Rockefeller regardless of the amount of tampering that was potentially done.

We went to lunch at Rockies on Saturday to discuss the possibility of training at my sisters place in May. Mmmmm Rockies, the hall of fame of the lard fried food. I had a bowl of ice-burg lettuce and chicken, but I pretended it was their club sandwich and fries smothered with fry sauce.

Tammy brought my favorite 7 layer brownies that have been taunting me from the kitchen. I regret telling her before, “If I can’t be thin, I’ll fatten my friends.” There are times that I think I am eating nonstop, and others where I consider drinking a diet soda really fast so the carbonation will bloat my belly. Today at lunch with my sister and my mom, I had three bites of Applebee’s chocolate meltdown. I did however wait until one of them broke the center open; if I’m going to cheat, I’m going for the good stuff.

Nine days down, 19 days to go. Running is already easier, and I can fit back into my medium scrubs without them bursting at the seams. Till next week, “nothing tastes as good as thin feels!” said between grated teeth.